Strange Faces: Part 13

Part 13

“Ok, here comes the pain, “ proclaimed my twin.  In his hand he brandished the ultimate weapon.  My brother was right.  There could be nothing worse.

Holding a book above his head, he said, “I shall now read select passages from Twilight until you come out of the circle.”

My brother yelled out, “I freaking told you so!”

“Everybody shut up!”, I said.  “No one is reading anything.”

“I’m ready to come out.”

My twin looked at me with satisfaction.  “I’m glad you've finally seen reason.  Come to me.”

“Just, give me a minute, OK?”

Granting my request, he stepped back while I turned to my friend and brother.

“Well, Sancho, if this doesn't work out, I want you to know you've been a good friend.  Make sure you hide the porn on my computer.”

“No problem, bro.  Good luck.”  He dropped his head and turned away.  I’m gonna assume he cried.

“Buster,” I called to my brother.  “We always knew it would end up this way.”

“Going out fighting some sort of trans dimensional doppelganger?”, he replied.  “Yeah, I figured.  I’m not worried though.  I’m pretty sure you got this.”

Pleasantly surprised by my brothers confidence in me, I took a deep breath and exited the circle.

“All right, you really want to join with me?  Lets just see who comes out on top!”  I stepped toward him with my arms out, ready to do…whatever.  I really had no idea how this would turn out.  All I knew was that whatever this joining was, I had to dominate.

“Wait!” my nemesis cried. 

“Jesus!  What now?” I said.

“You seem oddly confident.  More so than before”, he said, eyeing me cautiously. 

“So what,” I responded.  “Aren't you supposed to be the superior part of me?  What are you worried about?”

“Oh, I am.  Don’t worry about that,” he replied.  “But I don’t think I want to take any chances.”

Now it was my turn to be suspicious.  “What are you saying?”

“Oh, I’m just thinking I don’t really need you at all.”  And with that he lunged for me with a speed that I would not have thought possible considering his size.  Bringing my face close to his, he whispered, “I think I can live without you.”

Swinging me around, he tossed me like a rag doll directly toward my grandmothers mirror, still leaning against the tree.  Tripping on an exposed root, I crashed directly into it.

But crashed is the wrong word.  It felt more like being sucked in, a mini black hole, the laws of physics being suspended unwillingly.  I wish I could have seen it from the perspective of my friends.  As it was, it was as if I was falling forever.  And then nothing.

 JrX

I Don't Get it

This post is unrelated to my short story Strange Faces.  Enjoy.

If you follow me on facebook, some of you may already know this, but the other day I was watching a video on Redtube and I ran into a little problem. 

(I’m gonna pause right here to let you fabricate your own jokes to the above sentence.)

(All done?)

First of all, don’t sit there and tell me you’ve never watched a porn video online, you sick bastard.  We all do it.  Some of the top porn sites online get more hits that Google and Facebook combined.  Current studies show up to 30% of all web traffice is pornography.  That means that after you “like” your friends cat pics on Facebook and check the news, you’re most likely to head over to Pornhub and rub one out.  Another way of saying that is if you live with two other people, and you yourself never watch porn, beware of sticky surfaces. 

But all of that is besides the point.  The point is, as I was trying to close the video I was watching, I accidently hit the “share on Facebook” button.  Now, that scared the shit out of me.  Because, while I’m not particulary ashamed to be watching porn, it’s not an activity I like to share with friends and family.  It’s one of those things you just don’t share with most people.  So why the fuck is there a Twitter and Facebook button on those videos?  I mean, who made that decision?  Wouldn’t you love to have been there when that conversation took place?

-We’ve done it John!  The most largest and most comprehensive porn site on the internet!

-Great job, Gary!  But I feel like its missing something, don’t you?

-What do you mean?

-Well, when you’re watching porn online, what the one thing you wish you could do?

-Hmmm…I supppose I always wished that I could share my mastubatory aids with all my friends and family.  But that will probably never happen.

-Don’t be so sure.  Why not put a “share” button on every video?  That way you can post to Facebook or Twitter any video that gets you off, like that one with the two guys and the girl, with the chains, you know?

-Yes!  By golly, you’re right!  My grandma would love that!  Also, cat pics!

In closing, no I don’t want to share my porn with my friends and family.  But thank you for asking.

Strange Faces: Part 12

Strange Faces:  Part 12

Depression can affect people in a lot of different ways. Some people try to hide it. Some will seek help. Others will just give in. It just becomes too much to handle on their own. Of course, there are resources out there for people like that, support groups and such. But that would require an admission that something is wrong with you. And that's a step too far for most.

There's a sort of social stigma associated with depression. A kind of inherent shame that most people experience. A feeling that, on some level, you're broken. You lose interest in things, you can't sleep, you cry for no reason. It's a feeling of hopelessness. A sense that everything is going wrong. Trying to explain that to people just makes them think you're sad. But being sad when things go wrong is normal. Depression is being sad when things are fine.

As for me, I try to hide it. For as long as I can remember, I feel like I've been living two different lives. In one life, I'm funny and fun to be with. I go out drinking and partying with friends. I ask the occasional girl out on a date. Everything that you would expect from someone normal. Because that's what I'm trying to be. Normal. Or at least what I think normal is.

But my other life is different. The life no one else sees is anything but normal. It's a constant struggle to find a reason to get up every morning. To locate the motivation to live for another day. Because there's no real joy in anything I do. Happiness, to me, is a fable. An illusion. An urban myth, like bigfoot or the jersey devil. It's something everyone talks about, but I've never seen. So I pretend. I'm good at that. I practice my smile and slip on my mask and hope that no one notices.

But it gets harder everyday. And the harder it gets, the more I look for a way out. An exit from this life that seems like a carnival ride from hell. So it seems that my current situation would be ideal. Here's a way out that I never envisioned before, and I wouldn't have to do anything other that submit. And it would be soooo easy. Because to do it myself would be too hard. I know. I've tried.

They say that taking your own life is the easy way out. That real courage is living your life. Well, I disagree. To me, living is easy. All it takes is breath and time. Ending your life, on the other hand, is the most difficult thing a person could do. To go against every natural instinct in your body, to resist the innate programming to survive, to watch as your own life slips away; that, to me, takes a certain amount of courage that living does not.

But as close as I've come, I'm still here. At least for the moment, since I was staring at a way out now, that would take the decision out of my hands. So why am I fighting it? For the simple reason that I don't like to lose.

Not that I win at every thing I do. I don't. And I've never been the best at anything either. But I am a bit competitive. And I'll keep playing until I win.   It’s the only reason I’m still here.  I remain perpetually afraid of the day I no longer care about winning.  What I lose on that day will be more than a game.  I fear it will be my life.

But today is not that day.

JrX

Strange Faces: Part 11

“Now what?” asked Sancho.

“I don’t know, but we probably don’t have much time.  He could be back any minute.” I said.

The entity we had come to know as Scooter had retreated into the house after cryptically warning that we were about to “do it the hard way”. After several minutes of snickering at his phrasing, which I will not recount here, we were still no closer to a plan than before, and I felt that we were running out of time.

“Wait a minute, I got it!” exclaimed my brother.

Sancho and I turned to face him, expectantly.  I don’t think either of us really believed he had a viable plan, but I was certain it would be entertaining.

“Ok, get this.  First we all jump him at once.  He doesn't look that strong.  I’ll hold his legs, Sancho you hold his arms, and then you read passages of Twilight until begs for mercy.”

“You idiot”, I said.  “Where are we going to get a copy of Twilight at this hour?”

“You’re both idiots,” said Sancho.  “Is that what you focused on, really?  Twilight?  How about we just jump him, like he said.  Why haven’t we tried that yet?”

“I don’t know.  He’s kind of creepy.  I don’t want to touch him.”

“Well you might have to anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, this thing wants to basically absorb you, right?  He wants to take over your body, god knows why.  But you’re basically the same person, see?  So, why can’t you just absorb him?”

“You really think I haven’t thought about that?”

“Well you haven’t said anything.  What’s the problem with that?”

“The problem is, he might be right, OK?  I’m not sure I wouldn't just welcome oblivion.”

My brother looked up from his spell-books.  “What are you talking about?  You’re still depressed?  Just get over it already.”

“Sure,” I said.  “”Cause its that easy.”

“Look, the fact is, I’m just not sure how much I care.  This has already gone on way too long and I’m beginning to lose interest. “

“Well that doesn't mean you have to let yourself be taken over by the handless wonder over there.”

“Why not?  I’m tired, OK?  Tired of waking up and doing the same thing every day.  Forcing a smile on my face like a cheap mask so that people will think I’m normal.  I dislike or outright hate almost everyone and everything seems stupid to me.  The best part of my day is going to sleep and the worst part is waking up.”

There was silence for a moment.  Sancho and my brother shared a glance, neither one of them daring to look me in the eye.  I had to think that they both knew how I felt.  I may not broadcast my feelings, but surely they must have picked up on it from time to time, which would account for their reticence to speak.  It was a shared shame. 

Not being able to admit my depression was my shame.  Theirs was not saying something when they knew that must be a problem.  

Not that I could blame them.  Not when I wasn't ready to talk about it myself.  In fact, I don’t want to talk about it now.  It’s all that doppelgangers fault.

“You know what?”  I said.  “Fuck that guy.”

My brother and my friend looked up in confusion.

“Yeah,” agreed Sancho, “fuck that guy.  You’re not gonna let that guy win are you?”

“No.  I’m not” I said with sudden conviction.  “I may be every bit as pathetic as he says I am, but if I have to go, it’s gonna be when I decide to go.”

“Alright then!”  said a grinning Buster.  “So we jump him and then fuck his shit up! Right?”

“No, that’s not the way” said Sancho. 

Buster said, “what do you mean?  Lets kick his ass!  I’ll get the butter knife.”

I turned to the house, where Scooter was just making his way out the back door.  He was carrying something, but I couldn't quite make it out at this distance.  No doubt a prop in his plan to “do it the hard way”.  I wondered what it was.

“You don’t understand”, said Sancho.  “Scooter is everything that’s missing from your brother.  The desire, the motivation, the ability to see color in the world instead of viewing it in black and white.  Scooter wants to merge to become the dominant personality,  and bury him somewhere deep.  But what if it’s the other way around?”

“He means,” I said, turning to look at my brother, “What if I can merge with him and take back all that I've been missing?”

“All these years, I've always felt so empty.  Whatever dark recesses of my mind he emerged from, he brought back what could possibly make me whole again.”

With new determination, I called out to Scooter, “Come get some.”

To be continued..

JrX

Strange Faces: Part 10

Part 10

“I thought you had to summon him first?” I asked Buster.

“Yeah, that would have been awesome,” he said.

“You dumbasses.  He wants to be here more than we want him here, more than likely,” added Sancho.

“What do you mean?”

“He means”, my mirror self interrupted, “I’m ready for my close up”.

And with that, the environment around us began to shimmer as the apparition we’ve come to know as Scooter once again tore its way into our reality.  Stepping out of the mirror onto the lawn, he seemed more there than ever, something I attributed to the magical energies at work in my back yard.  Walking to the edge of the circle, he now seemed to be nothing more than a crude facsimile of myself.  Once familiar features were dissolving into a more ragged visage as he gained more strength. 

Or maybe I’m just really seeing myself for the first time, I thought.

 And shuddered.

  As he walked toward the circle, he reached out with his left hand, testing the limits of our protection.  The air seemed to ripple as he dragged his fingers across the invisible barrier.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “Entry requires both hands.”

“Ohhhh, burn!” said Sancho, as he and my brother smirked.

“Hmmmm...” Scooter looked at the stump of his right hand.  “I’m gonna let that one go.”

I said, “Well, that very handsome of you.”

“All right, enough.  You know why I’m here.”

“You’re looking for a handout?” asked Sancho.

“Ok, that’s real funny, but now it’s time for bus-“

“Holy athame!” shouted Buster, as he threw the butter knife at Scooter.

We all watched as it sailed harmlessly past my doppelganger to land with a soft thud next to the mirror.  There was a moment of silence as we all turned to look at my brother, who took this opportunity to study his shoes.  “Soooo….what were you saying again?” he asked.

Scooter responded, “I was saying, it’s time to end this foolishness and get down to business.”

I stepped forward warily.  I knew that this had to end as well, as it had gotten progressively stupider as the night wore on.  The human mind can only tolerate so much.  But I had no idea what to do.  Looking him in the eye, I asked  “So, what happens now?”

“What happens now is you come out of that circle and join with me.  You won’t be completely lost, just kind of put away.  In a nice little corner of our mind.  I made a nice little virtual room for you; its got a tv and an Xbox and plenty of porn, so you won’t be bored.  And you won’t have to worry about anything else, ever again.”

“I already do that.  I fail to see the benefit here.”

“Don’t be so glib” he responded.  “Think about it.  You want this.”

“And what would you get out of this…arrangement?” I asked, ignoring his last statement.

“A chance to live a real life.”

“What, like Pinocchio?”

“Uh, sure, like Pinocchio.  But –“

“Because I don’t know how that would work out for you.”

“…uh, well-“

“You know at one point he was turned into a donkey?”

“Ok, but ….well.. what?”

“The point is, I like my life the way it is.”

“Wait, how did any of what you just said have a point, and how was…you know what?  Doesn’t matter.   Look, this is happening, whether you like it or not, so just lay back, spread your legs and go to your happy place.”

“Yeah, well how are you going to get me?  Huh?  Come at me bro!  Oh, wait, you can’t cross our circle, can you?  Well, that’s jus too bad, sucka.” And with that, I put my right arm straight out and opened my fingers, staring bullets into my twin.

From behind me, I heard Sancho ask, “Did he just pretend to drop a microphone in front of Scooter, like in that movie with that one rapper guy?”

“Yeah,” said Buster.  “But I think he pulled it off.”

Ignoring everyone else, Scooter looks me in directly in the eye. 

“Alright, you want to do this the hard way?  Let’s do it the hard way.”

To be continued. Probably.

Jrx

Strange Faces: Part 9

scroll down to read the previous installments

If you had told me this morning when I woke up that I would be spending my evening in the  backyard summoning spirits, I would have laughed in your face and questioned your parentage.  But here I am, in the middle of a circle with my brother and best friend, about to re-enact the scene from every horror movie when everything goes wrong.  Except, this wasn't a movie.  It was real life, and a whole lot weirder.  

“You know, you don’t have to be here”.  My brother was addressing Sancho.

“Are you kidding?  This is the most interesting thing that’s happened all week” he said.  “Also, moral support, I guess” he continued , noticing my disapproving look.

“Can we just get started?” I asked. “Its already dark, so if you're waiting for the right time, this is it.”

“Ok” Buster responded.  “Here we go”

Sancho and I moved to the rear of the circle, while Buster, wielding his ceremonial butter knife moved to the northern most corner with his zippo lighter, ready to light the candle.  As solemnly as he could, he intoned:

Guardians of the North, I call upon you 

to watch over the rites of us three guys. 

Powers of endurance and strength, guided by Earth, 

we ask that you keep watch over us 

tonight within this circle, and keep us from screwing up. 

Let all who enter the circle under your guidance 

do so in perfect love and perfect trust.

Sancho and I exchanged a look.  I shrugged whispered, “maybe he’s improvising”

As we turned our attention back to my brother, he continued to move across the circle, making similar invocations at the other three points, while lighting the corresponding candles.  As he lit the last one, we began to notice a distinct change in our environment.  Specifically, it was brighter.  It wasn't the candles either;  the edges of the circle had begun to emit a faint blue aura, a soft and somehow comforting light that seemed to hold back the darkness that came with the night. 

“Soooo, this is normal, right?” I asked my brother.

“Honestly, this has never happened before”  he replied, clearly a bit taken aback himself.

“Well, what did you expect to happen?”

“I don’t know, I’m just going through the motions here.”

“That’s real comforting.  Why did we call you here again?”

“Look, “ Sancho interrupted, “this actually makes sense”

“Oh, yeah?” said my brother.  “And you’re the expert here, right?”

“Well, no.  But clearly you aren't’ either.”  Turning to me, he said “Alright, lets assume that drinking that magically contaminated soda somehow allowed you to manifest some sort copy of yourself.  That same magical energy must still be around here somewhere, maybe leaking from your armpits in magical sweat for all we know.   That magical energy is probably lending itself to Busters ritual in a way that he never could. “

Even Buster had no response to that. 

“We’re through the looking glass here people”

“Jesus” I said exasperated. “How long have you been waiting to make that reference”

“All. Freaking. Day.”  He said with a grin.

“Whatever” Looking at my brother, I said “ Where's the mirror?

“Over there” he pointed.

Following his pointed finger, I saw the mirror leaning against the sole tree in the backyard, maybe ten feet from the edge of the circle.

“So, do I just walk out of the circle and get it, or what?”

“No, see, we’re in the circle to protect us.  We summon the apparition outside the circle.”

“But don’t we have to trap it or something?  If we summon it outside the circle, couldn't it just escape?”

“Well…I mean…maybe..”

Laughing to himself, clearly amused, Sancho said “This is why I hang out with you guys.”

Ignoring him, I walked over to the altar/barbecue pit and proceeded to take it apart.

“What are you doing now?” asked Sancho

“Here” I said, handing him one of the legs. “Use this to reach over and knock of the blanket on the mirror so we can get started”

Turning to my brother, I said “Ok, so how are you going to summon Scooter?”

“Well, its going to take all my skills and knowledge that I've acquired over many years of research and study.  What you’re going to witness will go down in history as my finest moment.  I’ll be at the peak of my powers.  Songs will be written about my one day, mothers will name their children after me and presidents will name aircraft carries in my honor!”

“Yeah,” said Sancho, “..he’s already here.”

Looking over at the mirror, we saw that my reflection was indeed back.

“Dammit.”said my brother.

“Hey, guys” said Scooter.  “What’s up?”

To be continued...

JrX

Strange Faces: Part 5

(read part one here, part two here, part three here and part four here.)

“Quickly, Sancho!” I cried. “We need a young priest and an old priest!”

Twisting the cap off of the bottle of soda, I began to chant “The Power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you!” as I splashed the window with Holy Dew.

I looked back at Sancho, still seated on the couch, now on his phone.  “Dude”, he started, “I don’t know what the fuck is happening, but this is going on YouTube tonight.”

“The power of Chri-“

“Enough!”

My reflection cut me off in mid chant.

Not knowing what else to do, and running low on soda, I sat down next to Sancho on the couch.

“Alright,” I said.  “What do you want from me?”

“What any caged animal wants” he replied. “Freedom. A life beyond the mirror.  An escape from the servitude of reflection.”

I said, “Freedom? No problem”. I waved my arms expansively and said, “You’re free.”

“Done and done” added Sancho. “I know a guy who can get you a fake ID; we’ll get you a job at the mall, maybe at that pretzel place.  You can get us ten percent off. Your name will be Scooter.”

Mmmmm. Pretzels.

“Who do you know that can get fake IDs?” I asked.

“Just…this guy, alright” he replied. “Look, don’t call me on this shit, okay? I'm just spit-balling here.”

“Silence!” shouted my doppelgänger.

“I want more than just a life. I want what you've never used, what you've never wanted”

“My copy of Twilight that Sancho gave me?” Under his breath, I heard my friend say “go fuck yourself”.

“Your life” said Scooter, the doppelgänger.

I gulped hard.  “What are you talking about?”

“You walk through this world like a ghost” he said.  “You have no purpose, no motivation, and no goals.  You live your life at a bare minimum.  You have the skill and talent to do so much more and yet you refuse.  You play at being confident and self-assured, successfully hiding the fact that you feel worthless and alone in the world.  Your apathy has caused you to push away anyone who might have got close to you over the years.  There are many who would be your friend if you let them, but you choose only one, Sancho, and only because he’s been around more or less consistently for over twenty years.”

“You think you’re laying some grand truth on me?” I said, trying not to appear shaken.  “I know what I am and I know what I’m capable of.  And my apathy means I don’t give a shit what you think.  Besides, if I’m as pathetic as you say, what does that make you?”

“Lucky” he said.  “It’s your lack of belief in yourself that allowed me to be born.  It’s making me stronger even now.”

Indeed, as he spoke, the translucent reflection was becoming sharper, more defined.  I felt a wave of nausea and my vision became blurred.

“I may not be using much of my life right now” I said, my words beginning to slur. “But I’ll be goddamned if I'm going to let you have it!”

“What’s happening?” I heard Sancho ask weakly.  I turned towards him in time to see him vomit on my laptop.

Will the Geek Squad take care of that? I thought.

Geek Squad. For $30 they'll turn on your computer.

“He coming through again,” I managed to say as I moved drunkenly to pick up my laptop.  Vertigo was slowing overcoming my motor functions.  Through blurred vision, I could see that his hand had already made it across the windows barrier. 

Summoning what strength I could, I flung the laptop at the window, screaming, “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away, bitch!”

The window shattered into a dozen pieces, a hollow scream from Scooter as his image was destroyed; the laptop landed with a crash in the bushes outside. 

“That quip made no sense” said Sancho.  “That wasn't even a Mac.  It was Compaq.”

“Whatever” I said. I wasn't listening.  On the floor beneath the window was Scooters hand, flecks of vomit dotting the appendage; the only piece of him that came through before I broke the window.

Turning back to Sancho, I said “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

To Be Continued...

JrX

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Strange Faces: Part 3

(read part one here, and part two here. or, if your mouse is working, just scroll down)

*ring ring*

Hello?

Hey, it’s me. Whatcha doing?

Just getting off of work. You?

Oh, you know. The usual.

Getting high?

No...Well, a little.

Yeah, whatever.  You know you should stop that shit.  It makes you paranoid.

Yeah, speaking of paranoid, I might have a little situation here.  I might need your help.

If you shit yourself, I'm not coming.

Actually, -and go fuck yourself, by the way-, actually, some weird shit is going down at my house.  I’m not sure but it may have been built on an old Indian burial ground.

Have you been seeing old Indians?

….no...

Is there a little blonde girl sitting in front of your TV telling you that “they’re here”

…nooo….

Well then, what’s the problem?

(taking a deep breath) My reflection crawled out of my bathroom mirror, attacked me, crawled back into my mirror, and now I have no reflection. 

I see. And what kind of weed have you been smoking again?

Doesn't matter.  Remember all those times we talked about how, if the world ever needed a hero, you would totally be my sidekick?  Well, I think this is it.

I'm pretty sure we never talked about any of that.  What’s that tapping noise I keep hearing?

I'm typing all this down.

What for?

Future generations will want to know how this all went down.  How it started, who was involved, you know.

Wait, I don’t want to be involved in your drug fantasies, Ok?  Leave me out.

Too late. 

(Sighs) Alright, But change my name.

How about Scooter?  I've always wanted a friend called Scooter.

Fuck that.  Give me a cool name. Like Max Power, or something.

Sancho?

What? No, not Sancho.

Too late.  So listen, Sancho, how soon can you get here?

Don’t call me Sancho. 

Just get over here, Sancho.  Bring me some mountain dew.

*hangs up*

Most of us live our lives with blinders on, focusing only on what’s in front of us.  We create our own little world around us.  In our little piece of the world, only what’s in it is real.  The lady on the phone at customer service is just a voice.  Whether we’re rude to her or not doesn't really matter, because we don’t really conceive of her as an actual person.  This isn't because we’re mean or prideful or narcissistic, it’s a defence mechanism.  As human beings, we’re simply not equipped to handle that much stimulus.  Tragic events will occur halfway around the world, and unless you’re George Clooney or Angelina Jolie, it barely registers on our radar. 

Handsome or not, you were a terrible Batman.

Occasionally, however, you will see something or hear something that will bring the entire world into focus and you start to notice things you've never noticed before, no matter how long they've been there.  The first time, as a child, that you see your schoolteacher shopping at the grocery store.  It’s a startling feeling, a shock.  Yes, of course she’s a real person.  But now you know that’s she’s a REAL person, just like you.  Before she was just The Woman Who Teaches.  Now she’s Cindy, mom's  new friend, and she talks and jokes and eats grocery store samples just like you do.  You begin to wonder what else you’re missing, but then you get distracted by a vending machine and your world goes back to its normal size, plus one more person.  Heading out the door, you bump shoulders with a random person and grunt an apology, but it’s Ok  He’s not real like Cindy is.

Just blew your mind.

We all have moments like that, and as I look into the mirror again and notice all the things it reflects that I never noticed before because I was always concentrating on how awesome I looked, the me shaped hole where my reflection should be was all the more disconcerting.  If I wasn't already in the bathroom, I might have shit myself after all. 

JrX

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Strange Faces: Part 2

(read part one here; or just scroll down, don't be lazy.)

“Now listen carefully” he said.

Is that what my voice sounded like?  People had always told me that I had a voice made for radio, but I never really believed it.  Listening now to the silky sounds coming out of my doppelgängers  throat made me think a new career path had just opened up.  

They could call me the Wolfman, I thought.

“Pay attention!”, Mirror Me shouted. 

Shit, I almost forgot he was there.  I should probably describe what I was seeing at this point.  He was more than just my double.  Of course he looked just like me, right down to the Marilyn Monroe mole on my cheek.  Being from what I assume was an alternate dimension, he also had that evil twin goatee, like Mr. Spock had on that one episode of Star Trek. 

Making the  goatee sexy since the 23rd century.

 Then I remembered that I also had a goatee and it kind of sucked the fun right out of the horror.  But after a moment, I realized that the similarities were only superficial.  What came out of the mirror was an exact copy of me in every way.  What was standing before me now was changing in oh so subtle ways.  As I watched, pounds began to melt off of him.  Where I could be described as a bit, cough cough, heavy, my twin was slowly reaching my ideal weight, a thousand Hollywood diets screaming in protest.  The small scar on my hand from a childhood accident was slowly fading away.  Even his hair was changing style, split down the middle in a way that didn't make him look like a complete douche. Bastard.

No longer needed.

“I am the you that you always wanted to be”, he said. “I am you without the fear, without the anxiety and depression you keep hidden from even your own family.  I am the mask of confidence you slip on every day as you look into the mirror, steeling yourself for another endless day of false smiles and forced friendships because you can’t for a moment conceive of anyone accepting you for who you really are.  What I really am.”

Keep talking, asshole. Not that I wasn't listening.  I heard every word; I just didn't think that this was a good time for self-discovery.  There were other, more pressing problems to confront.  Escape came to mind. 

“I am th-gahhh!”  

That last was my attempt at making dick hamburger with his crotch.  Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for me, my position falling backward into the tub left my legs elevated to perfect crotch level.  The bathroom, as small as it is (I think its cozy), had him standing well within reach for a size twelve dick kicking.  Taking the opportunity I created, I scrambled out of the tub, leaving him writhing in what I can only hope was excruciating pain, and headed for the living room.

I need a weapon, I thought. Think.

Get me my boomstick.

Standing in the living room, I began to take a quick inventory of its contents, hoping to see something that I could use to bludgeon an inter-dimensional doppelgänger.  You don’t see tools for that at Sears, you know.  Although it would probably be made by Craftsman.

Ok, lets see.  TV remote. No, its fragile; just looking at it wrong causes the batteries to fall out.  Ok, next.  Laptop sitting on my coffee table.  No, no.  Kill me, but don’t take away my internet.  Day old French fries next to laptop.  Maybe I could feed them to him.  No, wait! Got it!

Rushing back into the bathroom, I brandished my chosen weapon as the knights of old would brandish their swords. 

Holding my back-scratcher ready, I said, “All right motherfucker, get ready for the worst scratching of your life!”  Alright, the knight I was thinking of may have been Don Quixote.  Sue me.

From Bruce Campbell to this fucking guy.  Things aren't going well.

But he was no longer there.  A ripple in the mirror and a scrawled message on its surface told the tale.

“I am everywhere”

I had no reflection.

To Be Continued...

JrX

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Strange Faces

(first part of a short story i've been dicking around with. let me know if you want to see more.)

There’s a thing called the strange face in the mirror illusion.  You stare at yourself in the mirror and after a few minutes, things begin to appear distorted.  You may have experienced this yourself at some point, and some research has been done on the subject.  One experiment done by Italian psychologist Giovanni Caputo, had fifty test subjects attempt this visual illusion.  The experiment lasted ten minutes but the subjects began to perceive the “strange face illusion” after only one.  Descriptions by the participants varied greatly:  66% reported “huge deformations” in their face;  28% described seeing  an unknown person; and 48% described seeing “fantastical and monstrous beings”. 

Not cool.

As strange as this phenomenon is, there have been some attempts to explain it.  One possible explanation is the Troxler effect.  What it is is unvarying stimulus dropped from our perception.  That is to say, for example, if a piece of paper falls on your arm, it is felt for a few seconds before the sensation vanishes.  This principle of unvarying stimulus also applies to vision.  So if you stare too long at yourself in the mirror, your brain will automatically start to cancel out any information that is constant, like, for example, your nose or your lips.  This will account for the “huge deformations” reported by the participants of the above mentioned experiment and even the urban legend of Bloody Mary.  As I look into the mirror now, I realize that this doesn’t account for the “fantastical and monstrous beings” they reported however, or the way that my mirror self raises its left arm when I raise my right.

She knows what I'm talking about.

But I wasn't truly scared until my mirror self winked at me and reached for my arm.

JESUS CHRIST! I thought as I stumbled backwards into the tub.  As I watched in horror, Mirror Me was making his way into the bathroom proper.  Already he was almost half in.  I felt almost sick watching this thing, as handsome as he was, birth itself into my world.  Nausea gripped me and my vision became blurred.  It was as if reality itself was pulsating around me, angry at this intrusion from another world.  As Mirror Me finally came fully into my bathroom, standing over me in triumph, I felt the world snap back into place with a jolt and began to come to my senses.  Almost immediately I heard a strange squealing.  I looked around for the source, expecting to find a frightened child, when I suddenly realized it was coming from me. 

Holy shit, was it trying to talk to me?!

“-…dick hamburger.”, he said. 

 “Whafuck?”, I managed weakly. 

He replied, “I said, don’t move, or I’ll stomp on your crotch till its nothing but dick hamburger.”

Oh. That makes more sense. 

He said, “Now,  listen carefully…”

I dare you.

To Be Continued...

Read part 2 here

JrX

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