Random Crapp 2015 Year in Review

Looks like 2015 is almost over and it was a hell of a year, amirite?  With so much that happened this year, we decided to look back and share some of what we thought were the best moments of 2015.  From Donald Trump to Pluto and beyond, here is, in no particular order, your year in review.

                                                

Alaska becomes the latest state to legalize the possession and use of marijuana.  This move from our nation's northern most state allows Alaskan citizens to finally have something to do other than check their shoes for moose poop.  

The New York Times reports that Hilary Clinton, current democratic candidate for president, was using her personal email for official business, sparking yet another republican led series of hearings determined to find some sort of “smoking gun” that could possibly derail Clintons candidacy.  So far the “email-gate” investigations have turned up nothing more sinister than Bill Clintons subscription to Penis Enlargement Online, the webs most viewed penis enlargement site.

Bruce Jenner publicly declares himself to be a woman and takes the name Catilyn Jenner.  Interviews and awards for the former olympian follow as well as an increased awareness for transgender rights.  This also provides an excellent opportunity to identify any friends on Facebook who are homophobic and/or bigots.  You don’t have to look for them.  They’ll make themselves known.

A whole shitload of unarmed black people were shot and killed by white police officers, leading to protests around the nation.  Many of the instances were punctuated by either attempted cover ups by the officers or outright lying on official reports despite video evidence in some cases clearly presenting the truth.  This also provides an excellent opportunity to identify any friends on Facebook who are racist and/or republican.

So far in 2015, we’ve had more mass shootings than days.  It’s okay though, because unless the shooters were brown it was probably just an isolated incident. Every. Single. Time.  This is depressing but it provides an excellent opportunity to identify any friends on Facebook who are islamophobic and/or insane.  

In a landmark ruling, the supreme court voted 5-4 in favor of same sex marriage.  Republicans and ultra conservatives nationwide have collectively decided that despite the ruling, they’re no longer baking wedding cakes for the gays.  Or something.  This also provides an excellent opportunity to identify if you have any friends left on Facebook at all.

Nasa’s New Horizon spacecraft completed its first ever flyby of Pluto, giving researchers an up close look at the former planet. Images from the probe have yet to confirm the existence of the Old Gods, but scientists and occultists alike are confident that as the images continue to come in new and exciting discoveries will reveal themselves, although it may be important to note that they’re excited for completely different reasons.

Speaking of the supernatural, republican candidate and part time oompa loompa impersonator Donald Trump somehow continues to lead in the polls for the republican nomination.  We’ll be the first to admit that his candidacy was funny at first, but now it’s just getting scary.  It seems as though nothing is too crazy for Trump supporters, as every time he says something objectionable more people flock to his camp.  Whether it is saying that Mexican immigrants are rapists or that we should have a national database of Muslims, we can only assume at this point that his rise in the polls is foretold by prophecy and cannot be stopped.  

Now, I know what you're thinking. This has been an up and down kind of year. But before you make any judgments, know that this also happened in 2015.

So it wasn't all bad.

Jrx

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