Are Americans Stupid? Yes, probably.

So a new report was recently released by the National ScienceFoundation that shows a surprising number of Americans are ignorant of some of the most basic facts that most of us learn in high school.  Now, I’ll freely admit that while my own intelligence has always been higher than average, years of drinking and partying have certainly dulled my faculties to some degree, so I don’t want you to think I’m throwing stones here.  But the results contained in this report include a survey asking some questions that I’m pretty sure I've heard Dora the Explorer ask my niece and nephew, which instantly makes them smarter than a large chunk of the population. 

Here are a few examples:

Only 84% of Americans believe the center of the earth is hot.  God only knows what the other sixteen percent believe.  They’re probably busy building bunkers to survive the coming invasion of the lizard people from the core of the earth.

"We come for your women!"

74% believe that the earth revolves around the sun.  Holy crap, I’m pretty sure this one was settled around 400 years ago.  Hell, I remember a friend doing a science fair project regarding this very subject when I was in elementary school, which makes him smarter than 26% of the people surveyed.  Quick, look around the room you’re in.  If there are more than four people with you, chances are one of them is retarded. 

Copernicus is not amused.

53% of people think that lasers are made of concentrated sound waves.  Really?  I mean, really?  Perhaps they’re confused because the decepticon known as Soundwave also shoots lasers.  And that’s me being generous.  This report was conducted in 2012 which means that many of the respondents are old enough to have been raised on such scifi classics as Battlestar Gallactica, Star Trek and Flash Gordon.  We grew up with lasers.  A lot of us played laser tag.  This is getting ridiculous.

"Stay in school, dammit!"

Only 39%  believe the universe was began with a huge explosion.  Okay, I’ll give them that one.  We’ll just chalk this up to religious fundamentalism.  It doesn't make it any better but at least I can understand why they believe the opposite. 

At this point, fuck it.  Why not?

Just 53% believe that electrons are smaller than atoms.  Alright, now you’re just fucking with me right?  No one is that dumb.  I mean, we've all seen models of atoms looking like little solar systems since we were kids, and  although it’s an oversimplified view of its basic structure, its always served its purpose well.  We know electrons are smaller, goddammit!  Hell, we even have pictures now!

You remember this, right?  Right?

But I suppose it shouldn't be surprising given that the U.S. is currently rated 17^th in terms of education.  It doesn't help that many of our political and community leaders don’t know the meaning of the word “theory” and equate weather with climate.  Many of them even seem willful in their ignorance, no doubt only hoping to score short term political points to aid themselves in reelection.

From Wikipedia.

All in all, it’s a sad state of affairs we find ourselves in.  Surrounded on all sides by idiots.  Represented in Washington by morons.  And there's more history on the walls of Whataburger than you can learn on the History Channel, which focuses more these days on the possibility of ancient aliens and Hitler and hey, maybe Hitler was an alien.  Why not?

I’m depressed now.  I’m going to find myself a bunker.

JrX

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