Top President
 |
| He's one cool cat. |
Now, before any of you start sceaming “affirmative action”,
let me just say that I didn't put him as top president because he's black. Love him or hate him, he is the number one
president of America right now. Also, he
got bin laden. I know that was like a
year ago, but he could probably ride that train for a while longer.
Top New Way To Make Grilled Cheese Sandwich
 |
| How do I love grilled cheese? Let me count the ways... |
Have you seen this? Its
amazing. You just turn your toaster
sideways, and place a piece of toast with a slice of cheese inside,and voilà! Easiest grilled cheese you’ll ever have! Careful though; some toasters have a metal
cage that braces the toast when activated.
Sadly, this is the end of your grilled cheese sandwich. Also, don’t position your sideways toaster
anywhere near the edge of the counter, unless you'd like to see your sandwich
take flight.
Top Stupid Thing Someone Said To Me
 |
| Is it wrong that I think she's sexy? |
I was at a corner store that I hadn't been to in a while,
getting gas. When I went inside to pay, I asked where the candy was, because I
had a hankering for some M&M’s. The
stupid bitch behind the counter said, “We’re all out of m&m’s, but we have
plenty of w’s, ha ha.” I'm not normally a
violent man, and maybe I was in a bad mood that day, but goddamn it, I wanted
to punch her in her uterus.
Top Blog That I Write
 |
| Rock on people. |
I feel no shame for listing my own blog. Random Crapp forever!
Top Quote I Read On The Internet Today
 |
| D'oh. |
“I never apologize. I’m
sorry, but that’s just the way I am”.
Credited to Homer J. Simpson.
Clearly an underrated thinker and a spiritual brother to all stupid
people. Here's to you, Homer
Simpson. You’re a goddamn bro.
Top Pic Someone Sent Me
 |
| I want that shirt. |
This is for the gangstas in the house. You know who you are.
Top Stupid Product On TV
 |
| Fuck you, Mr. Lid. |
So there's this thing running ads on TV for Mr. Lid. Maybe you've seen it? It's Tupperware only with the lid attached. Ok, nothing wrong with that, right? Well, at one point in the ad, the announcer claims that they achieved this via a "revolutionary technology". They don't say what it is, but they display a large cartoon arrow at what is obviously a hinge. Now, I'll grant them that the hinge may have been revolutionary at some point in history, but I've got to think that as a society we're no longer amazed by such things. Speaking of which....
Top Invention Ever
 |
| All Hail Thermos! |
The thermos. Need I go on? It's got no buttons. It's got no dials. It's got no levers. And yet it consistently keeps cold things cold, and warm things warm. How does it do it? How does it know? What strange magic keeps it working? Probably invented by the same people who invented the hinge. That, or witchcraft.
Well, that's it. The Random Crapp Top Ten Whatever I Can Think Of List of 2012. Those of you proficient in numbers will no doubt realize that there are only eight items actually listed. The reason for that is so that you, loyal reader and fellow Crapper (that's what I call my readers now; deal with it) can finish it with your own top whatevers. Leave them in the comment section below and remember: this isn't because I couldn't think of anything else to write. No sir.
JrX
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